how do flies mate?

i've never thought about that before. . . but I'm sure they do somehow. I mean, they have to right? unless they carry out external fertilization or whatever

i just came home from a rare morning jog/walk/swing (and damn, swinging is hard work. . .it's not easy to hold your legs up midair in a swing made for little people 2ft and under), and had to collect the bins. . . so deceptively heavy, their weightiness makes me think everytime that the thing hasn't even been emptied yet, triicksy! <-- Gollum lisp) anyway, as i walked thru the garage, what looked like one black fly suddenly split into two. . so unless it was some kinda optical illusion (or the absence of my glasses), i probably just walked thru their late morning baby-session. hm. . .

playing From the Diary of a Fly. . . or attempting to. Mr Bartok, my fingers just weren't made for this piece

running
sprinting
clumsy
awkwardly
clutching my bag
precious, harried cargo clamped down to my side

once again i've left everything til the last moment
my assignment pseudo-completed
minutes before i have to be at the bus-stop
in a frantic panic, i run around the house
pounding on the windows
"SARAHOPENTHEDOORINEEDMYPHONE"

i throw rhetorical punches at myself
silly
stupid
dilatory
procrastinator
you saw this coming
you did nothing
this time you'll chong wor
there's no escape
this will be the end of me
and i deserve it

but i reach the glass-paned bay
and the deafening fever-pitch of anxiety continues to rage
the furrow between my brows is deepening
i'm convinced it'll soon erode a Grand Canyon-esque gorge
the little bus arrives
"is 305 behind you" i ask
i decide to go back to my angsty pacing
as the bus trundles away
i second-guess, i doubt, has my mind gone awry?

many miles of minutes later
it arrives
rounding the corner like a gloriously obese queen
i try to still the storm in my head
this time i've been let off
saved
but somehow
i think this will be an oft-repeated scene

haha. . . i can so see myself wearing this silver grey object. . . totally flattering

and as if the Smart car isn't kute enough already. . . u can add a thanks tail on it to say thank you to your fellow road-users. . .*awww*. (I'm pretty sure I won't be the only one to see the phallic resemblance, especially for a thumbs-up 'OK' click for the movie clip)

disillusionment

what is it with Christianity and hypocrites?

why is it that, in the media in recent years, Christian/Catholic priests/ministers = pedophilia??

no wonder we are so hated and reviled and despised and mocked and mistrusted by the wider public. . .

first the flood of sex abuse allegations made against priests, and now the pedophile ring that was busted a few weeks includes some religious ministers and police officers.

but just because some "religious" people use God as a crutch or a shield to defend their indefensible abominations doesn't discredit Him or those who are genuine followers. Besides, everyone sins.

OOOOHhh crap. . . I just realized how bad that sounds. NonononononoNONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!! There is NO justification for the reviling vomit-inducing contemptible despicable base and LOW inhuman way in which they treat children.
Did you know. . . one of the detectives who investigated the horrible subhumans who perpetrated these crimes saw a photo, early on in his career, of a little girl (7 i think it was) tied to a chair and being raped by a dog.

wuuuurrrgghhhhh. . . my stomach turned when i read that, I wanted to cry and scream in rage.

perverted loathsome vile brutal corrupt wretched evil inhuman abject CREATURES!!

torture
bamboo sticks beneath every one of your disgusting pedophile fingernails
electric wires attached to every most sensitive part of your horrid flesh
sleep deprivation
gallons of water forced down your gaping abyss of a throat
ostracization
people will avert their eyes when they see you in the street
your neighbours, friends, wives (poor poor women) will flee from you
their noses pinched in defense from your stomach-churning stench
you deserve no mercy
you deserve no peaceful death
you should scream and writhe in the pain you inflicted on all those children
along with the anguish you wreaked on their families
your greedy perversions
your deep, secret, dark, abhorrent, hateful pleasures
and the families of those whose minds you willingly corrupted

this is how you should be rewarded

you are revolting repugnant and repelling
a reeking stench surrounds your very being
so now,
now that your concealed actions are exposed;
now that the anonymity you thought the Internet afforded you
the shroud that lent you a false sense of immunity
have been annihilated in the view of all,
NOW you hide your face
your hideous, grotesque countenance
it's too late

TOO LATE
you are exposed
everyone knows
you have lost all respect
all standing
all feeble fragile pretensions of nobility and piety

now do you feel shame
do you feel your ears burning
as you cover your head in humiliation
flinching
wincing
cringing in guilt
as the relentless, stalking cameras of the nation's journalists
chase after you,
if only for a brief glimpse of your incriminating face
to broadcast for all to see
"Hear ye Hear ye. . . hence cometh the lowliest of the low"

well maybe you should have considered,
thought twice before you logged on.
you had a chance before you entered that page,
before you tapped in your credit card number,
on the very same keyboard that your kids just perched at
where they type out their school homework,
you satisfy your perversions
USING children who are just as young as your own

even our incarcerated criminals despise you
murderers thieves robbers embezzlers
they spit at you
rock spiders they call you


you

are

destested


more than the slimiest fugliest slug-like scum inhabiting the dark wet swamps of the earth will you be looked down upon




thesaurus from Merriam-Webster

My top 5

1. has a heart for God
2. attractive (well at least I have to think so, which means that steroid-fuelled silicon-plump musclemen need not apply)
3. funny & entertaining, 玩得!
4. intelligent (i.e. has a vocab that extends beyond "hey maaan")
5. Something Extremely Important, which I have temporarily forgotten but will hopefully soon remember

Please send resume to: CallMeifyouThinkUPosessTheAboveBecauseIDon'tThinkUExist(Yet)SoProveMeWrong@ThePerfectOne4forMe.com

Oh wait I just remembered. . . #5 should read:

Male member of the human species

synopsis of my life

.

breaking my own rule

i was trying not to blog abt exams etc cos thats just so tiresome. . . makes me feel even worse. BUT there's a breaking point

Macro on Monday. . . challenging yet enjoyable subject that really isn't kind to last-minute crammer-in-erers like yours sincerely. And i really am. For my psych exam today i only started reading the lect notes of one topic when i got to the exam venue. Needless to say i didn't exactly cover it well.

the unhealthiness of my eating and sleeping is starting to take its ugly revenge too. My forehead has more colonies of spots than Great Britain did of white settlers at the zenith of its great greedy imperialistic era. Funnily enough, my blood tests came back with perfect results. . . blood sugar, cholesterol, Hep A, B & C-free, kidney & liver function all good.

wheeeeew!

Respec!

If there's one thing that occasionally annoys me to the point of a 9/11-style implosion (well actually it's not that bad, but this is my blog and I'll exaggerate and use all the hyperbole I want. ha!), it's some people's lack of respect for God.

Like, I don't really understand how we're meant to be in awesome fear of God's authority, yet 1 John 4:18 says that

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Anyway, that's another question altogether. But I just figure, if He's the God of the universe, he smote two metropolises because of their depravity and banned Moses from the Promised Land for striking some rock twice instead of talking to it, then doesn't He deserve respect and obedience?


Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.



If you love me, you will obey what I command



I don't know. . . at the risk of sounding like a religious conservative anal stickler for rules and regulations, I just think that sometimes there is a real chronic lack of obedience on the part of 'followers of Christ'. . . the Israelites used to apparently (I haven't researched this so I don't know for sure) leave out the vowels in Yahweh because they were so terrified of insulting God's name. I sure don't see this kind of respect much.

Maybe I've got my focus in the wrong place, maybe I'm focussing on the Pharisee-esque peripherals and not being 'spiritual' enough. But I've so had it with fluffy notions of God being only love and mercy and forgiveness (incidentally, I don't think there's enough of those things around either).

GOD IS JUST TOO!! I just wanna scream that out sometimes. . . He hates sin. . . like duh! Why else would he send his son to be tortured humiliatingly in order to save us?

I'm just repeating myself now, but i really really really really think that we need to regain some kind of healthy fear of the Lord. What's the point of feeling all 'spiritual' and in tune with God when you're not even going to do what he says?? It's like desperately yearning and seeking to know something that you're just gonna disregard as soon as you hear it.

Don't get me wrong, law is not the core of my faith (that would be what we call civic obedience)- Christ is, but I just get really super-peeved sometimes when us 'grace-era' believers are all on fire about doing God's will, being close to God, pumping our fists and dancing in their music worship sessions, yet as soon as they leave the church or fellowship premises, they just go on living their worldly lives with not a care for submitting to Him.

Reading this, I sound like a really judgmental self-righteous condemner/finger-pointer, and I don't mean to be (then i'd be doing Satan's job for him. . . ha! imagine that- putting Satan out of work). I just feel kinda disappointed sometimes.

I mean, I'm so talking about myself here as well, cos it's a mistake i make and re-make (much like a bad horror movie) all the time.

Obedience? It's damn hard. But it's a requisite.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom

scattered morceaux de pensee

too bored with the words "pieces of thought". . . so I pretentiously translated them online. . . haha

think my brain's been overworked by statistics, I couldn't help but imagine all these little stories for the people sitting around me in the crowded bus; the daggily bobbed Asian girl reading a small book with a blank white cover was a science nerd from rural China whose parents had been lured into the Falun Gong, pinning a cheap yellow "I support Falun Dafa" brooch on their daughter's monotonous denim ensemble to promote the persecuted cult group.

Galileo's daughter sat next to me, adjacent to the frog-dude (an elderly Asian who kept making glottal noises every 2 minutes). Across the aisle was the conspiracy theorist (she was reading The End of Privacy or something) whose years had dragged down her wide lips, making her look like Dani's dad from Home and Away. She had an amazing combo of wild silvery-blonde hair and clear blue eyes though.

Facing me was a hair model. . . really nice smooth hair swished across her forehead, clear skin and wide eyes. We're sitting directly opposite each other and it's like that lift-phenomenon where everyone tries at all costs to avoid each other's gaze, resulting in what looks like 10 people who all find the lift floor and indicator immensely fascinating

I was walking home in the dark the other night, and it'd just rained so there were lotsa snails crawling around ever-so-slowly. I didn't realize. . . and I stepped on one. . . at first I thought it was a twig, then I realized that there were lots of other black figures scattered on the footpath.

It made the loudest, most accusing CruNcH I'd ever heard. It was like it was screaming out to all its snail friends "SLIME HER!! KILL HER!!! SHE's EVIL!! SHE JUST CRUSHED ME TO A CRUEL, UNTIMELY DEATH-BY-SHOE. AVENGE MY MURDER, BROTHERS!!"
I felt so guilty I started hopping around the stupid slowcoaches like you would do around muddles (mud-puddles).

I took this picture on another rainy day a couple of weeks before that, I had to ultimate-zoom to get it. It was on the same road as well. Dammit, it was probably like the dad of the deceased, thanks to me.

I'm sure they're all planning an attack on my house right now. . . forming their own Neighbourhood Vigilante to ambush me, taking up positions among all the bushes with their slime-squirters at the ready. I'm sorry ok?!?! It's not my fault! It was dark..and...and...cold...and I just wanted to go hooome *sob sob*

. . . . . IT WAS THE VOICES...the Voices made me do ittt...they tell me things. . .

the daddy of my victim

now that's just ridiculous

what were they thinking??

patenting the extremely unique, trailblazingly groundbreaking idea of using a torch beam to make a pet run around in aimless, pathetic circles? (Oh, sorry, I mean, using a 'coherent' lightbeam encourage a domestic animal to engage in aerobic exercise). pppfffftttt.. ROFL

Sometimes I really wonder whether they make up job titles and create various bureaucratic agencies just because some bum needs a job.

Check it out... must've been some kind of joke. At least despair.com didn't take themselves so seriously when they trademarked the 'frowny' emoticon aka :-(

Enough vitriol from me, better go get some zzz's since I'm not being very productive in my so-called studying anyway

for your amusement

LONELINESS
When you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

TEAMWORK
A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction

FLATTERY
If you want to get to the top, be prepared to kiss a lot of the bottom.

DEMOTIVATION
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

DESPAIR
It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

I got this site from an American pastor at a conference...despair.com.


And remember:
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.


Diabolical, manical evil cackles....mUahahhahHAHAHAHAH!!!

Esther's Strawberry & Chocolate cheesecake
(very blurry, unfortunately)

after my record 3 posts in a row last week, my mind's gone kinda numb and blank.. stupid writer's block (blogger's block??)

actually, i am still blocked (must be the destructive gibberish post i tapped out coming back to haaaauuuuunt me....noooooo), so i guess i'll just ramble on about nothingness. btw Rejekah, i titled a post with your 'random rumblings'....CLiiiiick it!

There's an air-con dude behind me right now (he's pretty good-looking actually ^_~ hehe) drilling a huge square hole in the ceiling of my living room....he got here at, what, 9.15am? I asked him if this is an early start, and he goes...
na, this is late, we usu start at 7am..
pheeeeew! i'm not even contemplating thoughts of waking up at that time, still blissfully *out* in my REM sleep..ahhhhh

Actually, when they got here this morning I was still lying obstreperously in my bed, refusing to get up when the doorbell rang. my mum brings the dude into my room to see where the vent should go:

Mum: *knocks* Lilian...can we come in?

*Lilian slinks down towards the foot of the bed and hides under the deliciously warm, fluffy quilt until she's only a deformed lump under the covers*

David: Okay, it'll go here
Mum: But when she's sleeping, won't it be uncomfortable? (the self-made expert talking here)
David: Huh? There's someone in there???

Like, duh!

Then my mum comes back in 10 mins later and finally convinces me to gather the extreme levels of motivation required in order to lift one's drowsy self off one's bed...by mopping my carpet!!! *shakes head in bemused exasperation*

hehe...i had the best fun playing badminton with my sister yesterday, who aimed at my non-existent boob, yet just missed my non-existent boob (apologies, i'm obviously bored out of my minuscule little mind right now... if i'm having the same effect on u, just... stop... reading!!) Think there's like 5 shuttlecocks floating around on our roof right now...

I realize that i love taking photos of food. i dunno, there's just something about well-presented, deliciously-looking food that makes me wanna capture it on film (or a 256MB SanDisk). Hm...maybe it's time to dump Com/Arts and do a food photography or food styling course...